duration-sickness (gibberish: a collection)

March 3, 2011

6 trillion insights, fabrications and myths, the speed of illumination races toward us a fueled entity of clutter and confusion; black-contusion, perforated-space…i stood, it feels, though only a second ago behind this most present secretion of thoughts, staring upward, feelings of confrontation glistening my blood-shot eyes. Tears and urination, total emotion, i had felt, momentarily, the rush of both relief and disbelief. Ah! i shivered, goose-bumps had enveloped me totally, i shook almost uncontrollably; the sporadic drops of falling piss, the only sound: a broken connection, though radio-static, between the open-sea and my-self. Far-distant lights, comets and stars, my own alien planet, i recall thinking ‘had i not just spoken to the wind as a validated-friend?’. Unclothed and breathless, i stood bewildered, a trapped reflection on anesthetized-glass…”Like stuck in mud…” i had whispered. “Fuck!” i remember screaming. Exhausted, i sat; a tutoring-moon, ghost-like through countless reappearances, existed magnified, trapped too in the redundant cycles time so tediously passing in. Infinite, though never-ending, was it’s similarities to our own moments of translucence: invisible dreams, explicit and lucid, periodically blossom, then fade away. Round and round, again and again, a relentless orbit, day & night, night & day, we stumble in and out of embryonic phases, all inflicted with duration-sickness…d u r a t i o n   s i c k  n e s s… perfect, the word flashes by quick. I write, no i suppose wrote, it again, slow, in an attempt to prolong this feeling’s inevitable vanishing. Happy & sad, sad & happy, round and round, again and again, i stare down, my peripheral, silently contemplates all the previous words…I pause… Impossible! all their initial insight felt already gone…I’ve sat for the last several moments perfectly frozen, my eyes shut, listening. Not a single inkling, i remain clueless still…still too, ill.

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