cowards and whores (gibberish: a collection)

March 3, 2011

Once upon a heavenly time i dreamt…Such beauty! a soul’s possession, wondrous-seedlings, opening...Pristine Air! breathable-elations, virginal and devine, forever stems rose high budding life of infinite color…Sun inspired! blossoms, ignited-sparks, growth and passion, an everlasting cerebral impression…Overwhelming! sweaty-palms and nerves, i’d stood frozen, an inferior stranger…Pounding! enkindled-blood, thoroughly pumped, conducted a fairytale sound…Luv-Luv Luv-Luv! nurtured-innocence, feminine-like contours and curves, unmistakable magical-blurs…Breath-taking! untouched constructed flesh, cosmic, natural yet unworldly, a swirling new scent had risen…Quality! bodily trembles, a rush of admiration broke loose. “An Angel!” out-spoken thoughts, i stared now eye to eye with an indescribable creation. (Laughter!) though mocking, but slowly the frequency fell in tune. “No, i am not.” firm confession, the heavenly-being stood now silent, subtle immaculate-bosoms, utopian, hairless gender. “But what else could you be?” “I am like you.” “Me?” “Yes, human.” “Impossible!” my response a mere whisper, the nonsense that encoded her answer had no doubt confused me. numerous others stood aglow as just chiseled fresh ivory-stone. “But your all so…beautiful.” “A very effective disguise…Beauty.” the fire in her eyes, for only a hair of second, dimmed. “Have i offended you?” quieted, i stood attempting to discover a honest reflection of some imaginary soul. “You’ve the look as though your in pain.” “‘I’ve always wondered about what it must be like to be beautiful…” the rocking-motion of my stomach receded, soon allowing my mind to accurately repair my honestly broken disguise. “To exist equivalent to the most adored things in nature…the rise & setting of the sun, mountain-ranges, seasons…the most admired poetry in all the world is subscribed to the word alone.” her masterly sculptured jaw clinched, an anger of authentic caliber had arose quick like an eloquent-dipped-wick. “To be looked at as something more than you are not can take a heavy tole.” “More than your not? Do you not believe your beautiful.” “What i am not is super-human…Beauty has no more reliable strength than any man.” departing silhouettes, erratic and disappointing, the wholesome entourage behind her briefly vanished, reappearance, utter decadence…Bur! arctic-shivers, standing over-dressed in furs and business-suits, the once angelical-beings stood like decorated manikins…Horrific! transparency, displaying-windows, i turned away frightened of any possible opinion…Artificial! perceptions, man-made war-like profits. i dwelled further upon wish-full thoughts, dissolving though magnificent,  if only for imaginary-moment i’d a single ally. “Again..” she stated, “you look just like a scared little boy.” speechless, trimmers and shakes, my being had begun to inwardly crumble. “What’s so upsetting?” a single-tear dripped past my trembling lips. “All potential has finally elapsed then…” i’d spoken purposely softer, in grand-hopes to heighten her tamed inner-mistress. “A unanimous mass of cowards and whores…” my throat and tongue remained inflexible, some specimen of pressure held terribly on; an unrelenting spell of despair enveloped me. (Laughter!) looking upward, i discovered she’d taken on an effervescent appearance. “Your radiant!” “Yes, your demeanor, it seems, has had an unusual effect.” “How could such grief, cause such rapture.” “Who’s guess, is as good as Any’s…” her smile brought a surge of blood to my disassembled-heart. “Women are, if anything, farfetched.” “Yes, an ample array of fantastic moods.” “True pleasures.” in an instant, her extraordinary glow flickered, my own cowardly shadow too jumped, unmistakeably refreshed by the rich sharpness of this sporadic-florescence. “True none-the-less.” i ventured. “This sorrow you spoke of, do you believe it be righteous as well?” “At first i saw it only as alien, but over time i found it was others who perceived it to be truly strange.” “I will say you do omit a unique sympathy for things. Are you sure it’s not you who’s super-human?” “Thoroughly…i possess neither strength nor beauty.” “What benefit, if any, have they anyway?” the entirety of her radiance, once more, engulfed me…Warmth! total occupancy, i shook as a carefully bathed being of infancy would. “I suppose you’d have to first define their meaning.” “They’ve almost no significance to me.” “An authentic tragedy then.” “Why’s that so tragic?” “When such words no longer have matter.” “Such words?” “Can you think of ones, if described accurately, which carry a more pleasant chime?” “Chime?” “Frequency if you’d rather.” “I’m not understanding either.” “Sound then…what’s are words but sounds…when sung they become what?” “Music!” “Though composed-notes. Once the esteem for them is gone…” “All possibilities will have passed…” “And so what is left after we’ve sold all our value for such words for revenue?” “Cowards and whores!”

I’d awoken in a cold sweat, soaked clear through…Grossness! i recollect feeling, my sheets and pillows drenched, totally. my stomach churned…Women! like men, are people too…Shockingly! human. Still to this day, it remains the worst acceptance i’ve come to realize.

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